Blog
Memory Lane – An Adoptee’s Story
On the eve of Christmas my mom would cook a beautiful Christmas Eve dinner. I was responsible for setting the table and I took that task very seriously. I would make sure all the plates and spoons were perfectly aligned. I tested out many types of napkin decorations,...
How to Navigate the Holidays as a Birth Mother
The holidays can be a time of joy and celebration for birth mothers, but they can also be a time of sorrow and grief. This time of year, oftentimes, can be a stark reminder of just how distant we are from our own placed children and leave us feeling anxious or...
National Adoption Awareness Month is About No Shame
Every year on October 31, my brother shaves his face and embarks on a horrible journey to not shave for the entire month of November. It’s part of a great movement called “No Shave November” or, ”Movember” as a man of both Latino and Middle-Eastern descent, the...
Survivors Guilt in Adoption: How Can I Overcome It?
It is Friday night and I am relaxing on the couch with my children and husband watching another episode of Family Matters. Dinner has already been served, and we are well on our way to warm chocolate chip cookies and vanilla ice cream for dessert. My heart is full and...
Ridding Yourself of Shame About Being A Birth Mother
“Shame hates when we reach out tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it – it can’t survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes.” – Brene Brown When I think of shame, I think of: Secrecy Desperation...
What’s Behind the Metaphorical Mask of an Adoptee?
Behind the Mask I am not enough I am too much I am not smart enough I am a know it all I am too loud I am too soft I am pushover I am a bulldozer I care too much about what people think of me I am too honest I am not honest enough I am bad mother I am a bad...
Why Adoptive Parents Need to Lose the Mask of Perfection
One of the most impactful books I’ve ever read is John Lynch’s book, The Cure. In it, he shares the importance of authenticity and taking off the mask of who we portray ourselves to be our true self. You see, we all are guilty in some way of wearing a mask in our...