As the year 2024 comes to a close, I want to take some time to reflect on what this year meant to me as an individual.
We started the year off discussing the importance of community and just how life changing it can be.
I know firsthand how deeply healing getting involved can be as I spent many years avoiding the very topic of adoption which only prolonged my healing and validated the negative thoughts and feelings I had about myself. When I finally swallowed my pride and learned to accept that I was a birth mother – my heart softened to the world around me and I began to be gentler to myself. I stopped beating myself up for the decisions I made and the negative beliefs I held about who I was as a birth mom. The world is already so unforgiving at times, and I needed to give myself and others grace. Grace to grow and learn and extend compassion to those who need it most.
I felt empowered when I found community and started to lean into the relationships I was forming. It invigorated me in a way I had never experienced before. That feeling and passion is a divinely powerful force that isn’t easily shaken, and I’ve found that the intensity hasn’t lessened but instead it’s transformed and propelled me forward. It’s given me a sense of direction and I now dream of what the future has in store for me.
Knowing I have people in my corner cheering me on and providing me with council along the way keeps me focused on my goals. Goals I once never thought were achievable now seem easily obtainable. All because I took a chance and sat at a table on a random Friday evening surrounded by birth mothers just like me.
To be able to dream means I’m no longer letting the past hold me back.
If you spend any time with me, you’ll know that I wholeheartedly believe in the magic of community. When we collaborate with one another, magic happens. And not the cheesy, fleeting type of magic. I’m talking about the magic that transforms us from the inside out.
It is my desire that every birth mom gets involved. It doesn’t have to always be in grand ways, but no one is going to care more about birth moms than other birth moms. We can’t wait for someone else to care for us, which is why discovering our own strengths and stepping up is the only way to create the changes we wish to see.
As birth moms, we must lead the way for those who will go after us so that they can lead the way for those who will go after them.
As humans it is our collective calling to serve one another. By doing so, we gain new perspectives, a stronger sense of purpose, and skills that can develop a more confident sense of self. We’ve got to rally the troops and nurture resilience within our community. It is almost irresponsible to underestimate the power of community care.
So, if you are reading this and feel the nudge to get involved, don’t ignore that nudge. Reach out and find other like-minded birth moms who can encourage you. Start thinking of ways you can put that passion into work because you know best what birth moms need. Don’t sit around waiting for the right moment, don’t let your insecurities and doubts hold you back from pursuing your goals. There is something special out there for you – you just have to take that first step.