We know the root of adoption is love: a sacrificial and unconditional love uniquely demonstrated by both birth parents and adoptive parents, each with their own circumstances leading them to adoption as their chosen parenting plan. Two distinct roles of love displayed differently, yet forever bound by the very fabric of this plan.
If you’re anything like me, you can appreciate a good plan! For us, from the moment that we recognized our calling to adopt, a flood of scenarios started dictating our attempts at planning the next steps. Life became a series of “ifs” and “thens”. You know the ones…“if we complete this, then we can do that”, or “if we match, then”. However, it quickly became evident that, like most other aspects of life, the adoption process is full of nuances that often require resorting to plan C. Or sometimes, disregarding the plan altogether and choosing to embrace the reality before us. And at some point, we must remember and completely rest in Who called us to adopt and trust that His ways are always better than our own.
This proves to be especially true in special needs adoption. Led by faith, throughout our preparation to adopt, we prayed specifically that God would unite us with the expectant mother that He had chosen for us and us for her. We trusted that we would hear His voice when that situation was presented. However, we still thought we knew our human limitations and had our own visions of what parenting looked like for us.
From the moment that we said “yes” when choosing to present on our daughter’s situation description, we were aware that she had some medical challenges. Due to the rarity of her chromosomal deletion, physicians were unable to predict what the future would look like for this new baby and for us as we were about to navigate uncharted territory. However, what we were certain of was that we had fervently prayed over her birth mother, over this baby girl, and over ourselves, and we KNEW that the very same God that had woven this baby together in her mother’s womb had also woven our paths together.
Very quickly, the familiarities of life started to evolve. Medical appointments, surgeries, hospital stays, and therapy sessions became our new normal. Rigidity transformed into flexibility. Priorities shifted and faith strengthened. We learned to advocate fiercely and to communicate clearly. Hearts softened, and we began to celebrate the ordinary. Physical exhaustion of caring for a child lacking mobility began to rival the emotional exhaustion of
deciding what “quality of life” looks like for us. Our “plan” did not turn out quite the way we had imagined. Despite the trials, it has proven to be immensely more fulfilling than we could have ever anticipated. He has used this beautifully unique little girl’s life to radically impact everyone who has the privilege to know her. When challenges arise and fatigue sets
in, our strength comes from Him.
As you reflect on your own adoption story, be encouraged that oftentimes when circumstances require a pivot, it is then that our love matures and roots grow in unexpected soil.
God doesn’t call the equipped—He equips the called.
2 Corinthians 12:9 reminds us, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
On the days when your strength runs out, His never does.
This month’s blog is written by Danielle, one of our Agency Advocates and an adoptive mom to her daughter, Ellie. She and her husband reside in South Carolina with their family, where she is passionate about highlighting the beauty of parenting a child with diverse abilities.