I believe every adult adoptee has an inner child yearning for healing. My inner adoptee is in a constant state of searching. The inner child within me can be found weeping on the ground or running from rejection. On rare and special occasions you can find my inner adoptee wrapped in the warm embrace of my mother.


It is hard to reckon with the idea of a mother not wanting to parent, or not being able to parent while simultaneously loving and wanting the best for their child. It is hard to reckon with the truth of loving two mothers, two fathers, and two sets of family. It is hard to reckon with the loss of culture, and identity while celebrating the gains and the joy.


Mother’s Day is a revered holiday and it is celebrated with great respect. Every department store, grocery store, and even gas station has advertisements for all sorts of Mother’s Day gifts. The unpopular truth that very few want to acknowledge is that this holiday tends to trigger, aggravate, sadden, scare, and alienate adoptees. This truth not only affects adoptees with closed adoptions, but every single adoptee that has been separated from their birth mother.


Once people acknowledge and name their pain, that is when healing can ensue. I am writing this piece for my tribe to encourage you and validate your emotions and experiences. Whether you love Mother’s Day and celebrate the holiday with great joy, or you have mixed emotions about the holiday, you and your truths are valid.


Do you think of me when a baby smiles

Do you remember me when joy stays for a while

Do you feel me in the warmth of a summers sky

Do you lift me up in prayer to The Most High

Do you feel me in autumns breeze

Do you sing to me as you please

Please, please, tell me you do

Because you are my mother and I love you