National Tell a Story Day is April 27, 2023. When I think about telling a story in regards to adoption, my mind goes to telling my family’s adoption story. No two adoption stories are alike. It is easy to want to hear other adoption stories and compare it to your own. Did they have to wait as long as we did? How did they get matched so quickly? Did they go through a failed adoption? Did they get to meet their child’s birth mom before she gave birth? And the list of comparison questions can go on. You really cannot compare adoption journeys because each is truly unique. In general, telling your story can be helpful.
I believe your adoption story becomes part of your testimony, and the Bible tells us how powerful our testimony is when we share it with others. Telling your adoption story can help hopeful prospective adoptive parents. It can encourage someone in their faith. It can show an example of how we ought to love. It can teach people. It could even bring someone to Jesus. A lot of good can come from sharing our stories, and I do believe that we ought to share our stories!
How Much You Share About Your Adoption Story Impacts Others
There is something to consider, and that is your child’s part of their adoption story. I have always been an open book and extremely trusting of people. I will talk all day to someone about adoption and my personal experience with it. But over the years, after learning more about the adoption space and working in the adoption field, I have contemplated if it is appropriate to share all the details of our adoption story, specifically the ones that have to do with my child and her first family. I have had to stop and ask myself: would my daughter’s biological family like knowing that I have shared personal details about them to total strangers that they don’t know? Is it fair to my child that I share details about her story doesn’t even know because of age appropriateness?
There are certain details my child has the right to know first before anyone else, and it is also my child’s right as they get older what they want to share. I do my best to try to raise my child proud of her story: her adoption, her heritage, her biological family. Even though right now at age 5 she enjoys sharing about whose belly she grew in and what state she was born in, she may not always feel like sharing that as she gets older. And that is okay, because it is her story to tell; not mine.
If you’re an extroverted people-person like me who has done a lot of talking, you have probably overshared some of your adoption journey before just like myself. Don’t beat yourself up over it. It is okay. Grace exists! We live, and we learn to do better. Once you know better, you do better. Let’s look at a few ways you can share your adoption story better.
Things To Consider Before Sharing Your Adoption Story
Pointers in sharing your adoption and specifically your child’s story better:
- Adoption comes from brokenness. ALL adoption comes from brokenness. When it comes to why your child’s first family decided to make an adoption plan, just point to the fact that we live in a broken world, and it was best for them at that time to find another family to raise their child. We do not owe any info to people. They don’t have to know the substance abuse struggles. They don’t have to know your child was conceived in rape. They don’t have to know that the birth mom wasn’t sure who the birth dad was. Don’t worry about being general or vague when people ask questions. You can also flat out tell people that you don’t like to share that type of information.
- Stop and think before sharing anything. Really make sure what you’re about to say is appropriate and honors both your child and their biological family.
- If you have an open adoption, get permission from your child’s birth family before posting any pictures on social media or sharing any details. It is always good practice to ask before sharing!
Do you have other tips to best share your adoption journey? We would love to hear! Email Kerri at m. If this content and our mission is valuable to you, consider a donation today.